The Ethical Scroller

Or, how I learned to stop worrying and love the ‘gram.

Its not that I hate Instagram. It’s just that some days I totally fukkin hate Instagram! I hate it when my post that I spent over an hour crafting only gets a handful of likes. I hate it when my feed is full of trash that makes me deeply question what I’m doing with my life after peeking at my screen-time stats. I hate it when I’ve been speed scrolling for 15 minutes like a desperate tinder bachelor, and coming up empty on content worthy of my double tap.

Much like everything in my life that sucks, my bad experience with modern social media is probably my own fault. Which is a bummer to hear. But it’s also totally empowering because, why would I expect anything to change in my favor via an app owned by Zuckerburg– the perpetually youthful tech bro who looks like he should be painted into one off those homo-erotic Roman sex art scenes (and I’d be more inclined to like him if he was). What I’m trying to say is, if I want social media to be chill and awesome again, I have to go all fake-Gandhi-quote about it, and Be The Change I Wish To See On The Internet.

You see, just like cutting out single-use plastics and saying “sorry” less, if we start using our social channels more ethically, our in-app experience could dramatically improve over time. At least, in our little corner anyway. Thus, I’ve decided to air my own dirty laundry list of bad habits to kick below, in hopes you’ll all try them out with me. The future is now, and it’s also full of cool crazy tools that Sci Fi movies from the 1970’s never imagined quite right, and it’s time we all started using them to our advantage instead of rotting our minds and getting our hopes up. Are you ready to become an Ethical Scroller? Read on for your new insta-manual:

Stop mindlessly scrolling.

Starting today, challenge yourself to stop, look, and read every post that you come across on your feed. When we skip over others creations and thoughts, it creates a negative space for us to feel ours are being skipped over as well. Take time to take in the content you subscribed to or, don’t bother subscribing in the first place.

Unfollow profiles that you truly aren’t interacting with.

Down with using your Instagram friends as a Rolodex— that’s what your phone is for (wait, this is a phone??? :O). When you frequently see, but don’t interact with friends profiles, it drags down their visibility AND it puts you in a negative mood. Don’t hate follow people. Don’t obligation follow people. Don’t guilt follow people. Instagram needs to stop trying to appear like an honest indicator of who we love and care about IRL. It’s not. I suggest filling your feed up with art accounts, and opting instead for an epic penpal relationship with your aunt in Nebraska, or that girl you got hammered with at your residency last year– both of whom operate woefully uninspiring Instagram pages.

Post what you make, don’t make what you post.

A big mistake myself and so many other creators have fallen victim to is that we get wrapped up in the role of “content creators” rather than simply, creators. Stop making art just to publish it on social media. Find a more tangible end goal like a live performance, or an art show, or a zine and then, post about that. Don’t post your art, post about your art.

Don’t compare, just unfollow.

If you follow profiles that tend to make you spiral into a “I wish I were her” depression, close the door on them respectfully. It’s probably not their fault you feel the way you do, but I personally believe nobody can achieve mental stability while subscribed to Kylie Jenner’s Instagram account. 

Stop photoshopping yourself.

It’s 2019. We all know what Facetune is. In China they have an app where you can deep fake your own face onto the faces of actors in movie scenes. It’s really hard to know what’s real anymore, and that’s scary and confusing and makes us all feel really vulnerable. Like, erase a zit. Bump up the lighting. Smudge out a weird wrinkle that distracts from the cute lipstick you were looking to show off. But please, stop making yourself look like a Bratz doll (unless, of course, that’s actually your whole schtick in which case, please ignore this entire section). 

Stop feeling pressure to post everyday.

Social media wants you to think you’re a reality TV star because the more you use their apps, the more money they make. Most of us don’t have the time or the mental stability to be present online every day. Even if you have a small business. It’s okay to not update for a week or a month or whatever. It’s okay to go somewhere fun and not post stories about the whole damn thing. Social media would be less vapid if we posted when we actually had something meaningful to share, instead of mindlessly churning out content during peak posting hours. Just, relax.

Don’t let weirdos into your party.

Finally, delete DM’s that make you uncomfortable. Block trolls. Use keyword filters to minimize harassment comments. Just like in real life, you don’t owe disrespectful strangers your time or space, and taking extra steps to avoid creeps is not cowardly. Protect your magic, and you’ll charm more of the right audience.