3 Tidy Hacks For The Perpetually Disorganized Closet

Minimal effort, maximal results, modular spaces.

Let me tell you about my closet situation. My “closet” situation, rather. Because I am writing this from my Brooklyn apartment that was apparently built before people believed in hanging their clothing up, or perhaps, before people had shoulders. I have exactly 2 closets in my home currently– one of which is so narrow I have to turn the hangers sideways to actually get the door to close, and together they equal the exact amount of space that would be required of a wardrobe belonging to a very heterosexual man– you know, the kind who owns 15 teeshirts, a couple pairs of cargos, and uses most of his closet space to store his hockey gear.

It ain't me, babe.

For the entirety of my adult life, when I refer to my “closet” what I’m actually referring to is my entire personal living space. My old roommate used to say, “Stella, you live in a closet!”, and she wasn’t wrong. From every corner of my bedroom hung nightgowns, hats, and dresses, with a trail of my shoes lining the floor. Later on, when I shared a two-story apartment with my friend Sara, our collective closets overflowed down the rainbow stairs and into the living room creating a sort of clown boudoir vibe throughout our meager home (search #dollhouseclubhouse on instagram to get a visual).

I dream of having one of those rich lady closet renovations done in a future apartment. The kind with a walk-in closet the size of my old bedroom in Chinatown. Or, the kind where the wall opens out to reveal hidden wardrobes and expertly designed shelves and drawers that display my handbags in the artful manner they deserve. A closet that begs a sort of “Marie Kondo” simplicity, and makes me wanna spend a rainy afternoon rolling my socks into perfect little buns and tucking them away in rainbow order, as if my hosiery drawer were a fine box of chocolates. These are the things that make my little OCD heart swell.

But for now, as I cram my clothes into my external clothing rack and shuffle my accessories between various tote bags and vintage suitcases, I can’t help but scoff at the idea of properly organizing my closet. Who has the time? Who has the money? Who has the SPACE??

Is this you? Fortunately, you’re not alone. And though I do believe in a future of vast and spacious closet layouts for us all, right now we gotta work with what we got. Here are my tricks for getting organized now, without having to get lost in an IKEA maze or purchase a West Village town house.

Hang It Up

My “closet” room in 2012

There’s a great song called “Hang It Up” by Claudine Clark (the one who sings the 1960’s hit Party Lights) and even though it’s about a phone, you should take the time to get it stuck in your head as a constant reminder to hang your shit up! The biggest cause of me not being able to find anything in my collection of “closets” is my sheer recklessness when it comes to not putting my clothing and accessories away after I take them off. I’m guilty of the old toss-it-over-top-of-the-rack maneuver, as well as the “I’ll just keep on relocating this pile to various places in my room until I’m so used to it that I might miss it if I put it away”. No more! Even if putting a thing back properly in the moment seems counterintuitive (a bad case of the “I don’t know what to wear’s” does not lend itself well to hanging everything back up), set aside a mere 5 minutes before bed to get your precious dresses, teeshirts, and pants up off the floor and back onto the hangers and in the drawers from which they came. It doesn’t have to be perfect or pretty, but keeping all your items in a handful of designated storage spots is gonna make for more sanity when you’re trying to get going the next morning.

Start a Fix-It Bin

The biggest problem I encounter over and over in my closet is having too many items that I can’t actually wear. When I lose a button, when a zipper breaks, when I get a stain on something… I’m embarrassed to admit that, blinded by stress, I tend to just quietly tuck these items back into my racks hoping for the day I have the time and the finances to just fix it all at up once. A notion that makes less sense the more times I catch myself doing it. What this actually results in is me thumbing through my fancy clothes before an event that I’m already late for, pulling out multiple “perfect things” only to find stains, holes, and other imperfections that make me nostalgic for being 16 when I thought looking ragged was hip. 

What to do? Go to your closet right now and pull all your effed up items out. Designate a bin for these fix-it pieces and keep the bin in sight to remind you to get on with it already! Button replacement is a great movie watching activity, as well as de-pilling. Dry cleaning is rarely as expensive as it sounds. And if an item is truly beyond repair or wear, Goodwill has a textile recycling program. Getting these damaged pieces out of your closet is like getting the expired food out of your fridge– it keeps your wardrobe fresh and delicious. And, unlike spoiled food, you can relish the joy of adding your damaged items back into your arsenal once they’ve been refreshed.

Recruit a virtual assistant

Have I told you lately how much I love the Stylebook App? Closet organizing apps can help you do virtually what you cant do IRL, plus they make you feel like you have Cher’s closet in Clueless, which we have all wished for at some point. Using Stylebook has made it easy for me to see ALL my clothing in one place and keep track of what I’m actually wearing and what I should rehome. It’s perfect for live-in closeters (closet cases?) like me who have to rely on creative storage solutions making it hard to pull a look on the fly. For $3.99, it’s an immensely great solution for getting a handle on your closet sitch, plus cataloging your clothing is the perfect quarantine activity. Get it here.

What do you do to keep your closet organized? Leave a comment below and let us know what works for you. Then, share this article with your most disorganized friends.